Casey Johnson
On April 19, 2014, I asked my favorite person and woman of my dreams to marry me. Now, that could have gone one of two directions. But don’t worry…she said yes. Thanks Miss 😉
Since then, we’ve been slowly planning our future nuptials but mostly just enjoying the Minnesota summer and being engaged. Somewhere along the way, it occurred to us that, as a result of our slow planning and potentially (cough) lengthy engagement, we really ought to take a moment to celebrate our commitment to each other with those nearest and dearest to us. I mean, why not strike while the iron is hot, right?
So we decided to throw an engagement party, which, in essence, would serve to cap our honeymoon engagement stage and mark the beginning of our “oh dear God, what have we gotten ourselves into” stage. Again, don’t worry. When I say “oh dear God,” I’m referring to the planning of a wedding, not to the forever being connected to someone like two members of a chain gang who can’t shake their ankle shackles.
As the day of the party and the party itself wore on, several things became evident to me. You could call them engagement party rules of ring finger (Get it? Instead of rules of thumb…). Ok, that might be a stretch for a passable joke, but regardless, I tried to keep track of the important engagement party policies that presented themselves to me.
So in the order of reversed to first, here we go:
(And yes, as I’m writing this, I am realizing that this does bear an eerie resemblance to a PG-rated version of Wedding Crashers.)
Rule #5: Let the lady make the decisions.
There’s a reason that, in traditional marriages, the man gives the woman the ring. It’s not because we come from a historically patriarchal society, which urges men to make such gestures to claim what they deem to be theirs. And it’s not for some other probably far more directly traceable reason that Professor Robert Langdon could Da Vinci Code up to the surface of this conversation for us. No, it’s because, like a queen or some other nobility, that ring is a symbol of who is truly in charge.
And let’s be real guys, there are innumerable things that we should, indeed, not be in charge of anyway. I would say that the planning of an engagement party ranks somewhere near the top of that list, probably right after birthing a child (I’m 100% positive that we could not handle that).
And as party preparations, planning, and purchasing were occurring, it took me some time to fully understand and grasp this rule. But the more I simply accepted the undeniable truth and infallible logic of this directive, the more fun I was able to have.
And it’s clear now that I should have never offered any resistance to this rule because my lady throws a hell of a party.
Rule #4: Don’t ask questions. Take directions.
This is obviously a fairly similar rule to the previous one, but I believe that it deserves its own attention. In the planning of an engagement party, every time that you feel your mouth contorting to form the word “why,” you should either take a drink of something or try to distract yourself by thinking about sports because no good will come from asking your fiancée “why.” Asking why something is being done a certain way is a direct implication that you don’t agree with the way that something is being done. So again, refer back to Rule #5, which states, “let the lady make the decisions,” quiet your unknowledgeable engagement party planning mind, and take directions.
Trust me, it’s not that bad. If your fiancée is anything like mine, there will be plenty of awesome food and tasty beverages to keep your mouth occupied.
Rule #3: Eat, drink, and be merry.
Man, these rules are really seguing nicely.
I’ve never seen anyone that was eating good food and drinking an adult beverage that was unhappy. So if you want to have a kickass shindig, make sure that there are plenty of mouth-watering morsels and libations to go around.
I’ll give you some examples of food that will, from our experience, knock the socks off of your guests and that will get them stuffing said socks with food like hobos. Bacon-wrapped chicken bites, roasted Brussels sprouts with prosciutto, turkey meatballs, fruit kabobs, seasoned pretzels, homemade caramels, and, my all-time favorite, peanut butter Chex bars will all do the trick. I assure you that, if you copy those food choices, you will not be disappointed.
And if you give your guests the option of washing down those tasty, but thirst-provoking, foods with beer, vodka-spiked raspberry lemonade, and mini champagnes, I can assure you that your guests, too, will not be disappointed.
What can I say, we really went all out for the bellies of our guests. And, of course, when I say “we,” I actually mean Missy.
Add a hand-picked Spotify playlist and a muted sports game to the smorgasbord, and you and your guests will certainly be merry. Of that I can promise.
Rule #2: Invite your favorite people.
You can’t have a party with just two people, and you can’t have a party with your nemeses. You could technically, I think, have a party with people that you kind of like, but that’s really not going to create that magical night that you’re hoping for. No sirs and ma’ams, if you want to throw a party that you’ll never forget to celebrate most likely the biggest moment of your life to that point, you have to invite your absolute favorite people.
Now, unfortunately, many of them won’t be able to make it, even though they and you would have been thrilled if it had worked out. But you will still, inevitably, end up being surrounded by a group of people who mean the world to you and who will absolutely go out of their way to show their support. You’re going to end up with a group of people who have been there for you since day 1 (parents, siblings, extended family) and who have loved you even when they didn’t like you. And you’re going to end up with a group of people who like you so much that they have chosen to be a part of your life as a true friend. In fact, most of them are more like family than friends, and you’d do anything for those people.
And when you look around that party, you won’t be able to keep the smile off of your face nor the joy out of your heart. Accordingly, I would like to extend my sincerest thank you to all of those who were able to attend our engagement party and to all of those who would’ve loved to have been able to make it.
Rule #1: Don’t forget the reason you’re having a party in the first place!
It can be really easy to get caught up in the planning, the decorating, the cooking, the errands, the eating, and the socializing. But, whatever you do, do not forget the reason that you are throwing a party in the first place. Don’t lose sight of the fact that the party is to be a joyous occasion to celebrate love. Don’t lose track of the feelings that made you want to be someone’s fiancée to begin with. And don’t get so caught up in the sea of friends and family that you forget to take a couple of special, personal moments with just your fiancée.
Hopefully these edicts will help you to have as wonderful of an engagement party as we had. And thanks again to all that partook!
common knowledge 